Rambo's Rampages...

I seriously hate technology. Except for, of course, the stuff that saved my sons life. But every thing OTHER than that I hate. From phones that randomly shut themselves off to computers that tell me I'm putting in the wrong password to things that tell you every ten minutes to update, I'm swearing off technology.  No, I'm not. I think taking Theodore to Baltimore in a horse and buggy would quickly become trying to say the least. Also, keeping him alive would be difficult. But I do appreciate more and more the technology free aspect of the Amish. Plus their food. And their quilts.  Today has been...... okay. It really has. It's just the million little things, mostly but not limited to technological issues, that have driven me crazy. It's the fact that there is no food in the house. (The kids had one tortilla with peanut butter and a small bowl of dry cereal for breakfast.) It's the flour - the completely sealed unopened flour (two bags)- that have those dirty...

Not having a convenient internet connection has really cramped my style and in turn, left you all out in the cold. Which may not be that disagreeable to most of you considering our recent heat wave. So for the second time, here is a much needed update. We are home! Kind of. If you consider the Eastern Shore home, then yes, home we are. And it was a quite a sigh of relief to be here- hopefully to stay. Especially with views like this: You don't really get that in the city. A concrete jungle is a most accurate description and I'm sure that some prefer that. I, however, will take green anyday.  Being at our actual house is another story all together. I said before that Theodore tested negative to the allergy tests they ran. That left us with getting our house and equipment tested for anything that might be irritating his system. What did we find?? I really couldn't tell you. Not specifically anyway, but both the house and his equipment were extremely high on the '...

I am currently typing this minus my left pointer finger. I had a run in with a rather sharp knife whilst I was slicing bread. Of course, short of choking to death, this is one of my biggest fears. And of course, we had just gotten back from a doctors appointment, everyone was hungry, the dog needed to go out (yes, we got a puppy) and I was feeling slightly stressed. Anyway, I think now there was maybe no need for me to go wake up Ben who is on night shift and say "I cut myself!!!" But it was only when he looked at it and said, "Amanda, just put a band aid on it," that I realized it wasn't as bad as I had pictured. Oh well. 20/20 hindsight. I hope you were able to get back to sleep, Ben. All that to say, it's taking me a little longer to type this with a lobster claw on the end of my hand. But none of this is really important.  First things first... we got a puppy. This could be considered by some as a dumb move because of our current situation. They coul...

As much as we are no longer dealing with some of the same challenges we were last year, I am convinced it has only made room for different ones.  This, for instance: is our biggest problem now. How in the world is this going to work when he is crawling? He already almost pulls his equipment over. It'll be interesting, that's for sure.  Also napping is something that he doesn't really do. About every 4 hours he'll sleep really hard. For 15 minutes. You MIGHT get 20 out of him. What can you get done in 15 minutes? That's barely enough time to get a cup of coffee and put your legs up. Sure, there are plenty of chores that can be knocked out in 15 minutes or less, but what kind of fun is that?  Again, I'll choose to count my blessings. Which leads me to the second part of this post.... kind of. I was reminiscing today (I guess 'reminiscing' can be used when you are talking about bad memories... there is probably a more accurate word. Not ...

Today marks one week home. At 4:30pm it will be exactly one week since discharge. And we're still home..... for the moment. That is breaking the record already since our last trip. If we can make it through the day that will really be something.  Rambo seems to be enjoying his life at home. In fact, he has really taken off. The desire to move and develop has suddenly hit him full force and he can not keep himself still.   Just a normal day in the life of Rambo: When he is up on my leg he constantly rocks himself like that. Is crawling in our near future?? I hope so.... kind of. The tangling of the tubes is not going to be my favorite but whatever.  Isn't he the most adorable little thing? Of course, his big head does make him resemble Giada De Laurentiis a little. I'm not hating, I'm just saying they both have heads that could, by some, be considered a little large for the rest of their body. In any case... he's a cutie. And at least he st...

I don't know what my problem is. Ever since we got to the hospital all I've wanted was to be home. I hate being away from my family. I hate living in a hospital.  But now that I'm here....... I'm not sure if I build up in my mind how wonderful it will be to see the kids and husband again. Or if I forget about all the normal everday ridiculousness and responsibilities there are. Or maybe I was away just long enough to get used to life that way and now it all gets changed again. I don't know what it is. All I know is that I haven't even been home 24 hours and I'm already FRUSTRATED.  The word that has described my feelings in general since we pulled in the driveway: chaos. Maybe it's because it is slightly chaotic to get Theodore all set up once we get home. Maybe it's because the kids want to tell me and show me everything they've done since I've been gone as soon as I walk in the door. Maybe it's because, even though my house was ...

Please, don't everyone jump in at once and try to stop me from saying that.... Anyway, for those who didn't already know or suspect.... I think it might be true. Ben is probably recounting all those times I said something before I really thought it out (oh.. thaaaaat's why they call it an island...) But, on a whole, I have tried to stand firm on the fact that I am not an idiot. It may have all been for naught. I have done my very best to avoid saying anything about the word 'home' or 'going home' or 'doing well' or any variation thereof in front of Rambo, let alone TO him. I even spoke in pig latin, people. Okay, that's how serious I was. You would have to be an idiot to do that after all we've been through. "Ahhhhhhh," you're saying to yourself, "I see where she's going with this." I.Am.An.Idiot. I find myself talking to Theodore about how we can't wait to get home, and how I know he's excited. ...

Rambo is crying in the foreground. Crumbs are on the countertops. The sink and dishwasher are full of dirty dishes. The carpet is emanating bits of paper, dirt, and old broken crayons. We had a doctors appointment yesterday and another one tomorrow. Flies are overtaking my house. I'm out of diapers. And we have no hot water. BUT, I can blog. There's always blogging. (Which, by the way, when did "blog" become a verb? Or even a word?) Forsaking responsibility today seems like a terrific idea. R ambo, R esponsiblity (or lack thereof) and other miscellaneous R amblings - aka Triple R- is my theme for today. So here I sit, at the computer, my back turned to the world (as little as my world is right now) typing about things that no one in their right mind would want to read about. Theodore has finally put himself to sleep - something he has been fighting lately. And just now a stupid *insert bad word of your choice here* fly lands on his head and wakes him up. ARE YOU S...

That's what I keep telling Ben, anyway. "Don't feel bad, Ben. You did your part in the majority of our children. Your good genes just decided to take a break with this one." That way, while getting him to accept full responsibility, I'm also completely uplifting at the same time. :) Of course there is really no need for anyone to accept responsibility. What kind of a mother do you think I am?? Rambo is perfect and we believe he is exactly as God has made him ready to fulfill whatever plans He has for him.  The past two weeks have been filled with a whole lot of nothing. Well, okay, I take that back. Only if you consider constant fussing (and by fussing I mean absolute flipping out, crying, someone has taken over this child, leg kicking, not breathing because I'm 'screaming', sweating, body stiffening, overall unhappiness) nothing. And, of course, I do. I know that every child goes through stages like this. But, oh my soul, I'm losing my mind. T...

Well, we've been home for almost a week. Today, I actually accomplished to get up, get dressed, and get a little bit of makeup on. I consider that a success. Of course, my hair has not been touched since yesterday and I'm totally overdue for a shower, but we're making baby steps. Somehow Theodore has managed to be the only one to get a bath everyday. I do envy him for that, but I'm definitely not willing to poop my sheets to get it. The things you can get away with as a baby. The means do not justify the ends for me in this situation.  Our dining room has been turned into a mini Hopkins. I suppose he's worth the sacrifice of a dining room table. At least the carpeting is more appropriate for a bedroom. The couch has become my new bed and Rambo's nicely finished new room is not being used at all :( So we have survived the first week. Maybe next week Theodore won't be the only one having timely showers or baths. Maybe I'll ac...

Oh crap. What have we gotten ourselves into?? After 17 weeks and 5 days, 4000 hours, 4 months, 125 days, 1 1/2 seasons or 88 daily episodes of Jeopardy (depending on how you look at it) we are home. Johns Hopkins and Mt. Washington (thank God) are all behind us. Well, hopefully. I guess we're going to have to wait and see.  Those were the best days of my life. YEAH RIGHT.  We are home!!!! Woot!! Of course, now I'm getting less sleep and my house looks like the tazmanian devil ran through it, but it's all okay. Who really needs sleep anyway?? With little man getting medicines or food almost every hour of the day and night sleep is probably not something we are going to be too familiar with any time soon. We are on track to getting home nursing set up but that's probably still a few weeks away. So, that means, you need to get on it and get over here and help out. I don't want to have to count on State Farm to be a good neighbor. Have difficult baby. Will train. ...

Something tells me that Ethan and Claire aren't going to be the only ones seeing 0400, 4am this morning. Tonight I'm staying at the hospital to take care of Rambo to prove that we can, indeed, do this. (Man, I really hope I can do this.) I know I have 3 other kids but it's been a while since I've seen zero:dark thirty. * Whispering so Rambo doesn't hear * The plan is, as long as he behaves, to take him home this coming week!! Please nobody tell him! He has a way of changing the plans that are made for him. So maybe if no one says anything he'll think he planned it all by himself. Because if those plans don't stick, you may have thought you've seen me upset, but I promise - you've never seen me very upset.  In hopes of sticking with the plan, there should be a truckload of equipment arriving at our house at some point. Shift nurses will soon be put through the grueling task of being interviewed by me and Ben until we pick the one who can care for ...