Rambo's Rampages...

 A couple of years ago my husband had this grand dream of getting an aquarium. Long story short, we got an aquarium. It was WAY harder to get started than we could have imagined and more than a few fish sacrificed their lives in our learning adventure. BUT after hundreds of water testing strips and filters and plants we finally struck a happy balance of fish and PH and got it chemically correct and grammatically correct and had a healthy tank.    So imagine for me, if you will, the constant pleasing, almost unnoticeable sound of the water running, the nice hue of light emanating from the tank, and the subtle movement of life continuously playing in the backgorund. Imagine your fish steadily growing- larger than you would have thought and the surprising fact that you really enjoy watching them.  On nights that Theodore's nurse isn't here and we find ourselves sleeping downstairs to accommodate him it's like a pleasant white noise as you sleep. The couch lies perpendic...

I'll admit it, I'm not a spring chicken anymore. Somewhere after I turned 30 my body and mind (mostly mind) decided they were going to knot themselves, or loose themselves. I'm not sure which. But whatever happened left me like "Well, this is it. I guess just death is left."  So anyway... I think I found my spirit animal.   Yes, kid, yes. I do. I don't even actually know what you said, but I feel you in the depths of my soul.   I relate to the rapid searching of your mind for the right word that has miraculously disappeared from your vocabulary. I relate to your utter unashamed determination to NEVER QUIT until you say exactly what you wanted to say. And mostly, I relate to you doing this all out loud. If I'm suffering you're all suffering.  Dear kid that I don't know, back when this video came out I could not relate. I didn't fully appreciate you. But now. Oh now, I really do. Unfortunately for me, trying to order a breakfast sandwich at the...

Handheld Vacuum  Sealer. Have you guys heard of these things? These crazy, beautiful creations? You probably have. It took me about 2 years to get on the meme train, I still don't have an Instapot, and "cold busted" is still in my repertoire. (But come on, you know there's no better word for those stinging digs.) Nevertheless, I have just discovered this novelty, thanks to my mother in law (who, yes, is FAR more current than I).  Um... these things are amazing.   LOOK AT MY CHOCOLATE CHIPS. JUST LOOK AT THEM. Also, look at my counter tops. That was totally intentional.    I have avoided the whole vacuum sealer thing because.... I just didn't want to do it *whiny voice*. Having to pull out another machine, setting it up, finding a place to store it... Okay, that might not seem bad, but it is. It always felt like such a chore. And when you already have to vacuum your house twice a day because you have two German Shepherds - you read that right. Twice. A. Day...

"We want our work to be known and our impact to be memorialized. And it will be, but by God alone. No human can give us accolades that will satisfy the  deepest longings of our hearts. We search vainly from others for the acclaim that only God can give." - Sara Hagerty, "Unseen" I don't know about you, but the older I get the more my life seems to be filled by disappointment after disappointment, one unsuccessful venture after another, failure followed by failure. And up until about 5 years ago I could have listed you a MYRIAD of things that qualified as my biggest fears, I could guarantee you that unsuccess was not one of them.  But now it is. Top of the list, number one for x weeks in a row.  Unsuccess. Under appreciated. Unseen. I'm still surprised by this. By the fact that it is. Surprised at how deeply and coldly it runs through me; how it has a hold.  It's not because I'm a mom (stay-at-home) or because ...

Sometimes I'm the worst. No, really, don't try to stop me from saying this. **************************************crickets************************************************* Wow. Really? No one? That hurts, guys. Despite the many protests from the audience I just received, I must admit that sometimes I am the absolute worst person. Okay, not really, I'm not a mass murderer or a puppy killer or a fan of Nickelback. But, in the past, if my cup got tipped at just the right time I may have been known to slam a door or crush my childrens' hopes and dreams with just a word. Hypothetically. Unrelated: I may be starting to see why no one tried to stop me earlier.....   But there's something that I've been wanting to get off my chest. Deep breath. And go. When the kids were little, Israel the eldest, like Gandalf the Grey- very distinguished, would be getting his breakfast or possibly even helping the younger two get their breakfast. At this time they were...