Rambo's Rampages...

I tell the kids this evening that they are on their own for dinner. Mostly because whilst cleaning the kitchen I accidentally threw away the left overs of the early dinner my husband and I had consumed a few hours before. (The joys of night shift... but that's another post). And thankfully my children, 3 of them anyway, are old enough to make their own food. So, yay, mommy is off the hook! I think. My one daughter decides to make a salad. Lettuce, kale, broccoli and vidalia onion viniagrette. Woot! I am doing something right!!  The other daughter who never likes anything I make probably thought this was a gift straight from God.  But seeing as how there was no cereal or steak in the house - because those are the two things she will eat - decides dinner is overrated and forgoes eating anything. My son, who tries valiantly to like whatever I make and usually kindly rates my food at "it wasn't my favorite", also decides to make himself a salad. I think. He...

Okay, it's been awhile, I know. Writing for me used to be a kind of therapy, I think. A way to deal and decompress and work things out. It was how I stayed in the now without being overwhelmed by the now. And then, that time passed and writing was put in the past and life moved on.  And now it's back. But before I go any further I must say that it really has nothing to do with this blog's namesake. THANKFULLY. All is well on that front. Really well, actually.  No, this has to do with a not so little four letter word: R-U-T-H.  I love her. I do. But she has entered that full blown, hormonal, pre-teen season. And she has entered with a bang. And I'm not gonna lie - I have no freaking clue what I am doing . Not. A. Clue. I think what makes it even harder is that this girl is not like me at all. She has always been hot or cold, she has always known what she wants, she is outgoing, courageous, strong. She is the complete opposite of me.  And I'm over here like.....

Guys..... I have something exciting to share. It's, like, really exciting. My girls love My Little Pony. They watch the show; they have a few of the toys (not enough for their liking), and usually those toys end up in Theodore's toy bin because why would they actually be put where they belong? Because of this, Theodore sees them, plays with them at times,etc. WELL. The other day the girls were watching an episode and Theodore goes to his toy bin and finds the MLP toy that matches the one on the screen. Whether he meant to match it or not it's simply impressive that he knew the show was the same as the toy. He'll do this with cars and trucks because they are his absolute favorite. If Chuck the Truck is on tv he'll find a random car and play with it. But considering this isn't a toy he is really interested in I was impressed. Then, the screen changes to a different pony and he goes and gets that corresponding pony as well!!!!! He meant to get the specific po...

This morning was pretty momentous. Hang onto your hats, folks, because I got to go to the store by myself. As soon as Theodore was on the bus I rode like a boss in my minivan to Walmart listening to whatever I wanted on the radio as loud as I wanted. And here is the really sad part..... I actually felt like I had a purpose. I had reason to wake up and get dressed. My life had meaning because my chickens and cats needed more food. Also, I was out of coffee.  My life literally has no purpose. Why get up and get dressed and ready for the day when you go DAAAAAAAAYS without leaving your house? And why leave your house when it takes so much effort to? Sure, you can do it and it'll last for a week or a month or, tops, 3 months, until you realize.... IT DOESN'T MATTER. The world doesn't know or care. Sure, I can make elaborate birthday parties that my children want "more than anything in the world", but to what end? It is forgotten the next day. I'm not kidding- th...

We are revamping our old drafty farmhouse. Nothing major, just some small budget improvements and updates while keeping its charm and character. And I'm loving it. I totally am.  Only............ my love is starting to run thin. I'm about 80 degrees beyond ever wanting to see trim again. (I don't even know if that saying means anything but it felt kind of right. Until it came out and then it seemed like it maybe didn't make any sense. I'm still leaving it.) It took 4-5 coats of paint in our bedroom. FOUR TO FIVE. That's a lot of paint on a lot of trim. But, thankfully I can say that our bedroom and bathroom are complete.  Then for some reason I decided to move onto the entrance way and paint the door and ceiling and then have to repaint the ceiling back to the original white because I didn't like it painted the door color. But that's okay because now that is done too. (Even though our idiot dog has already scratched it.) Now, I am so far into kitc...

"I don't think you understand the concept of Fun Land." - Benjamin     I cried. Right there under the Paratrooper ride next to the hose for vomit. Right in the middle of FunLand with screams and laughs and smiles all around me. For the most part I think I went unnoticed. Parents too busy videotaping their children on rides for the first time, boys too busy trying to impress girls, kids too busy running away from their parents.  I'm sure I wasn't noticed. That is until Emma turns around and in an effort to speak above all the noise loudly says "Mom, you look like you might be crying!" And EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING stops. All the noise and rides are suddenly supernaturally suspended mid air and all eyes are on me. The void of movement is palpable. I'm pretty sure time stopped. Yes, yes, people, I'm crying, get over it. And they do in a matter of about 0.2 seconds because, thankfully, nobody really cares.   I cried at FunLand. How in the w...

Last night Theodore decannulated himself. Yes, it happened and it scared the **** out of me. There are so many reasons it could have been way worse than it was and I am so thankful that God gave me the urging to look over when He did. I'm happy to say that Theodore is doing just fine and my stomach is back where it belong as opposed to on the floor.  So here's what happened. I put Theodore in bed last night the same way I do every night... off to his dreams so he can try to take over the world. But he had a late nap so he was not falling asleep. He's happily in his bed, I'm on the other side of the room and I can hear and see him sitting up and standing up and playing, etc. At one point I heard a familiar noise. It's hard to describe unless you are familiar with it. But I looked over to make sure that Theodore wasn't blocking his trach with his finger like he so often does. He was standing up and I could clearly see him and his trach collar still in tact so I ...