Rambo's Rampages...

Slowly, intentionally, moving only one muscle at a time I gently transition Rambo who is sleeping in my arms to his crib. Exhaling ever so slowly and quietly I remove my last point of contact from his body. It doesn't work. He is instantly aware of the change and sleep eludes both of us yet again. Here we are... again. I had hoped to steer clear of this place after my last child, but I guess it's inevitable. The great conundrum: move it or lose it vs. slow and steady. How do you transition from holding your sleeping baby to lying them in their crib still sleeping? The answer: you don't. I've tried both methods and neither work so I'm not quite sure why I keep doing this to myself. But without fail every time I try one of these in hopes it will be THE time. This is the time the transition will go smoothly, baby will be none the wiser, and there will be much rejoicing. No such luck. Yet we all keep trying like fools. I weigh the options, consider his mood and go for

Well, we've been home for almost a week. Today, I actually accomplished to get up, get dressed, and get a little bit of makeup on. I consider that a success. Of course, my hair has not been touched since yesterday and I'm totally overdue for a shower, but we're making baby steps. Somehow Theodore has managed to be the only one to get a bath everyday. I do envy him for that, but I'm definitely not willing to poop my sheets to get it. The things you can get away with as a baby. The means do not justify the ends for me in this situation.  Our dining room has been turned into a mini Hopkins. I suppose he's worth the sacrifice of a dining room table. At least the carpeting is more appropriate for a bedroom. The couch has become my new bed and Rambo's nicely finished new room is not being used at all :( So we have survived the first week. Maybe next week Theodore won't be the only one having timely showers or baths. Maybe I'll ac

Oh crap. What have we gotten ourselves into?? After 17 weeks and 5 days, 4000 hours, 4 months, 125 days, 1 1/2 seasons or 88 daily episodes of Jeopardy (depending on how you look at it) we are home. Johns Hopkins and Mt. Washington (thank God) are all behind us. Well, hopefully. I guess we're going to have to wait and see.  Those were the best days of my life. YEAH RIGHT.  We are home!!!! Woot!! Of course, now I'm getting less sleep and my house looks like the tazmanian devil ran through it, but it's all okay. Who really needs sleep anyway?? With little man getting medicines or food almost every hour of the day and night sleep is probably not something we are going to be too familiar with any time soon. We are on track to getting home nursing set up but that's probably still a few weeks away. So, that means, you need to get on it and get over here and help out. I don't want to have to count on State Farm to be a good neighbor. Have difficult baby. Will train.

 This was what I had to put up with all night. It wasn't easy, but I made it. While you all were sleeping comfortably I was as well.  He fell asleep around 10pm and pretty much slept until 9 this morning. He needed to be suctioned a few times, but went right back to sleep. I'm wondering if this is just a show he put on for me - getting my hopes up just so he can dash them into the ground. You never can tell what this kid is going to do. But my initiation into overnights with him was a good one.

Something tells me that Ethan and Claire aren't going to be the only ones seeing 0400, 4am this morning. Tonight I'm staying at the hospital to take care of Rambo to prove that we can, indeed, do this. (Man, I really hope I can do this.) I know I have 3 other kids but it's been a while since I've seen zero:dark thirty. * Whispering so Rambo doesn't hear * The plan is, as long as he behaves, to take him home this coming week!! Please nobody tell him! He has a way of changing the plans that are made for him. So maybe if no one says anything he'll think he planned it all by himself. Because if those plans don't stick, you may have thought you've seen me upset, but I promise - you've never seen me very upset.  In hopes of sticking with the plan, there should be a truckload of equipment arriving at our house at some point. Shift nurses will soon be put through the grueling task of being interviewed by me and Ben until we pick the one who can care for

Apparently Rambo needs his methadone like Tom Cruise needed his sake in The Last Samurai. "SAKE!!!" Except it was 'methadone' he was screaming on Saturday when he was running a 40.1 degree Celsius fever. For those of you who don't speak Celsius, its hot. Like, 104 F hot. They just let him scream it out for a while. Just kidding! Of course they didn't. This isn't Mt. Washington. Kidding, kidding.... Aaaaaaanyway, he was feeling much better after they upped his dose again. Give the man his drugs! And now, he's his happy go lucky self. Of course he has this uncanny talent of being not happy go lucky when it's time for me to leave. I swear he senses it. I don't know how, but he does. That sweet little smile on his face morphs into something alien. And once the transformation starts there's no stopping it. I'm sure that all moms have experienced this, at least to some degree. It's time for sleep or work or something that will pull

Don't lie. I bet half of you are expecting pictures of cats or something else equally as soft and cuddly. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm going to inundate you with pictures of Rambo. I must say, he is pretty cuddly.  And of course, I have to add my other 3 cutest things: Now, seriously, who needs cats?? Thank you. That is all.

It appears Rambo was not picking up the vibe I was giving him. I threw it out on the porch to see if the cat would lick it up - and it didn't. His violent hatred was not effective in the way I was hoping. Warning: The following statements may not be acceptable to all viewers. It is the opinion of myself and does not necessarily represent the views of anyone else. If you have someone now or have ever had a child at Mt. Washington or if you know someone who works there please consult your doctor before reading. On Friday we were moved to Mt. Washington. This was a good day because it meant Rambo was doing well. He was there to wean off his medicine and then go home. Unfortunately Rambo didn't see fit to have it work that way. And I must say, that I'm not terribly upset we are no longer there. Sunday night we were transferred and admitted back to JHH. I have never been more relieved to see someone from Hopkins as I was on Sunday. I had more confidence in the three people