What do I know?

Where have I even stood but the shore along Your ocean?

I never think about how small we are. And by 'we' I mean our planet. But this morning (we're talking FIRST THING as Ben came home from work and I'm still rubbing the crusties out of my eyes) as Ben was explaining to me fission and fusion and atomic bombs vs. hydrogen bombs [all of which I remember ABSOLUTELY everything you said, hon....] I got the vision of being pulled far far back into outer space and looking at the earth. I forget that we're just sitting in outer space. Just floating ever so small surrounded by endlessness. 

Disclaimer: I am by NO MEANS anything near a scientist. I don't even really like science so bear with my probably technically incorrect words. I'm just trying to give you a picture, not give you a degree in chemistry.. or physical science... or biology... or whatever it would be. What's the study of space again? JUST KIDDING. 

Our universe is limitless. I can barely fathom our oceans let alone our galaxy, our solar system, or beyond. Don't worry, I'm bringing us back to earth - our feet planted on the ground (because of gravity- I just learned that this morning. JUST KIDDING again.) So I'm thinking if the biggest thing on this earth that I can imagine is the ocean; if I can be out to sea and not see anything but more ocean for days on end; if even the 'tiny' waves at the beach scare me beyond all reason, what do I know? 

Clearly I have a brain. I say this not because I'm super smart.... (hush) but because I'm a human so by default I've got one. And I am capable of knowing a lot. We are all (Questionable. Maybe not all...) capable of knowing so much. But how much do we know that really matters? If (and I'm sure I will diverge with a lot of you at this point) but if I believe that we have a Creator of the universe, our solar system, our galaxy, our planet, our oceans, and me- and He is the same Creator, then how can I question? Or complain? Or grow impatient? I can't even fathom our physical planet. Does anyone know how deep the ocean is? Or all that is down there? Has anyone ever counted the stars? 

THERE IS SO MUCH WE DON'T KNOW. 

And not only do I believe that we have a Creator but I believe that He is intimately acquainted with me. He loves me. And If I can't fathom all that I see around me there is no way I can fathom His love for me. Or His plan. Or what He is capable of. If I stood on the shore of the ocean I would not be able to see the other side or take it all in. It appears endless even though I know it has an end.

Sometimes my life seems like that ocean- the future, my pain, healing that has yet to be done, uncertainties, fears, etc. And instead of believing that God created that ocean and that He knows and holds all that is within, I say "No way. You don't understand. I can't. Why haven't you changed this yet?" And He says "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you."- Isaiah 43:2

I have only beheld the tiniest tiniest glimpse of God. And I dare question? He is larger than the ocean or the universe. And He loves me. Himself and His love for me are not like the ocean - they have no end. And the best part is that I am who He wants to glory in. The stars? Big deal. The planets? Big deal. The ocean? Big deal.

ME. 

It doesn't always feel like it, no. It doesn't always appear like it. But those things are like the ocean. They DO have an end. And if I travelled across the ocean I dare say I would not be the same.