On the cusp.

We bought our house over a decade ago from someone who used the large shop as an actual automotive business. For the first five or six years of us living here we had people in and out weekly thinking it was still a working garage. People were constantly knocking on our door asking for Carl. They would leave their cars parked in our driveway with their keys and a note. People even had vehicles towed here. And no matter how many times we said there was no business here anymore or how many signs we put on the doors people continued to show up. 

One day two ladies came up to my door mid-morning asking about the "shop." I politely told them that there was no longer a shop here, it was just a family home now. They curiously looked at me and responded, "So you don't have anything to do with the guys in your garage?" I immediately jump to action knowing that my husband is upstairs asleep from night shift and my son is far too young to be out in the garage himself so I exclaim, "There are guys in my garage??!!" as I push past these women wanting to know what is happening on my property! The look on the women's faces as they had to abruptly jump out of my way was one of confusion. And the realization that these strangers at my door were not talking about men being in my garage at this current moment, but rather in general, came a little too slowly. They were still thinking, despite the fact they had just been told otherwise, that the shop was still active. I was assuming they had actually listened to what I had said and were then telling me that there were men unbeknownst to me on my property!  

Let me just tell you how I laughed and laughed and laughed at my relief and confusion over the situation and then shut the door in their faces because I just couldn't even with these women. 

I'd love to say that was the only time I felt an acute, immediate uprising of adrenaline, on the cusp of panic, followed by instantaneous relief at a misunderstanding at my door, but it's not. 

No no. To make sure I'm not getting too comfortable in life these moments seem to occur every few years just to keep me on my toes. 

I draw your attention to yesterday morning. Theodore had left for school, I was having coffee and breakfast with the girls, Israel had not yet woken up, and Ben had just fallen asleep a few hours before after getting home from work, when a police car pulls into our driveway. Now, being a police officer's wife I know this could be about a plethora of things so I'm not concerned when I go out to meet the officer. He asks if I am the person he is looking for. "Yes, that's me," I respond.  And the next words out of his mouth sent my mind racing about a million things but also put everything into slow motion. 

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news this morning...." 

I draw my hands to my face in shock, knowing what he is about to say but not fully comprehending it. I'm not really understanding how this is happening and I'm thinking 'If the word Theodore comes out of his mouth' because I know he is the only one who isn't home. I take a breath and hold it. 

"...{so and so} was found deceased."

I intensely look at this officer and slowly pull my hands away from my mouth, "I don't know who that is," I almost whisper. 

I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS! 

I can not believe what just happened. The officer can't either and we laugh in relief as he says that's never happened to him before. Me either, buddy, let me just tell you. 

And it better never happen again.