I'd be lying if I said...

...that Theodore is a lot better today then yesterday...that Theodore is even slightly better today then yesterday... That it's usually good news when you get a phone call at 1:30am... That moving away from a "more portable" vent to a full fledged ICU one is progress... That deciding to go ahead with a picc line was an easy decision (and then when that became a non option, being ok with the fact that they only have one little bity peripheral IV at the moment)... That I don't have to constantly remind myself that although I carried Theodore, God formed him and loves him more than I do... That I'm finding it easy to remember that my life today is not necessarily an indictation of what my life will be like tomorrow (remember telling me that, poppy?)... That I am entirely happy with the thought that he is not one step outside of God's will for him... That I didn't go three days in a row without makeup - including out in public. The truth of it is that Rambo had a bad night. A really bad night. His lungs are worse today than they were yesterday and we're getting ready to do another X-ray on them. The picc line is not an option because he literally has no veins to enter. His nose bubbles have been less today but the docs say he sounds more course and more inflamed. Steroids, another antibiotic, and a light sedative were started today. He's not sleeping almost at all. They gave him a one time dose of extra lasix to help get off some fluid. We'll see if that needs to continue. It appears as though we are in for a longer ride than we expected. Go figure. He has yet to have an upward trend and the docs are not even guessing. With the virus Rambo has they said it usually peaks at day 3-5. We're on day 8. He can't make it easy. Hoping this sedative takes effect and he gets a nap because he's been a beast all day. On the bright side, he does seem to like his tv so that's been helpful.