Rambo's Rampages...

The crystal glass has shattered into a million tiny shards.... Theodore has been doing so well. I can't even remember the last time he used his vent. He's getting big, he's learning all sorts of new things, he's growing up. But lately.... he's been coughing. A lot. Sticking his fingers in his mouth, gagging himself; at night he coughs and coughs and coughs and coughs. And that's 'it' for me. That is what makes me feel like my body has turned inside out and is shot in all directions like a shattered crystal glass.  It only takes one. One coughing spell. One incident of gagging and me trying to stop him from continuing. One minute of fighting sleep from coughing. It's just the right tool used in just the right spot to tap the glass and ruin it.  It's a nightmare. It's what causes me to completely lose my composure. It brings me to my knees in agony. It keeps me from seeing any good possibility within days because this one incident has r...

Yeah, I made it up. It's okay. Just go with it.  Our final week of summer is quickly coming to a close and it hasn't exactly gone the way I was hoping. We've had more nurse staffing issues lately than we have for quite a while which has made our last week be quite uneventful.  Maybe that's a good thing.  In better news, I forgot to take the trash to the end of the driveway today and only remembered because I saw the truck when it was next door. I didn't have enough time to get it down there and figured another week would just have to go by. But that wonderful trashman, whoever he is, actually walked up my driveway and got it.  Bless you. I had so many things on my mind and now can't seem to produce another productive thought other than the prior two.  I should probably just leave it at that.  I'll leave you with just a couple shots of the cute church next door. Because it's so pretty when the sun hits it just right. Of course...

I've had this jar sitting around. Just sitting around filled with doubts and fears and sorrows. Reminding me every time I sit down what all those are. Those things have been in that mason jar... in my heart... for too long. So, yesterday, I set those things on fire. "The removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which can not be shaken may remain..." "...Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which can not be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe." "For our God is a consuming fire." - Hebrews All that jar represented was created things. Real things, yes. Hurt and sadness and doubt. Things, if I had my choice, I certainly wouldn't have chosen. But all meaningful. Not unnecessary. Not meaningless. All working together so that the unshakeable can remain.  ...

My close personal friend Ann Voskamp  (just kidding... she's my friend but she has no idea who I am :) ) led me here today. Check out these two pages:  Welcome to Holland  is short and sweet and insightful. Indispensable  is a little longer and beautiful and totally worth the read. It all made my heart happy and feel a little less alone.

It's not even 9 a.m.  Theodore has already: knocked over his humidity bottle spilling it come undone from his tubes chewed on a vinyl tile knocked down a stool broken a book. He's been out of bed for less than one hour.

Since the kids have been home from camp I haven't had as much time to devote to anything that isn't related to them. But we are starting to get back into the swing of things.  Yesterday we had a nurse and got to take the other three to the movies. For the girls it was their first time. They, obviously, sat in the front row because how else can a kid go to the theaters without sitting in the neck breaking front row?  We saw Planes. The kids have been waiting to see this since the first preview came out. And it was lack luster. I don't think they realized it, but it was not nearly as good as Cars and took about 20-30 minutes to get into it's groove. Then, even at that point, it was only 'meh'. But this isn't a movie review blog and the important thing is that the kids THOROUGHLY enjoyed themselves. If you're a parent though, I'm just letting you know...... Theodore stayed at home with the nurse and pretty much drove her crazy because he wouldn...

... to the not so distant past. These are the days that I can't believe we survived. The days where we could hardly turn around because of one thing. Well, two things, really that when combined make for a mess. Tubage and rolling. The rolling days. The days I generally refer to as living hell. And, man, he was fast.  Thankfully those are behind us and we are quickly approaching the walking days. The only problem is that I'm still recovering from the rolling days, I don't think I'm ready for the walking days yet.