Rambo's Rampages...

Here's how we started out the new year... Recognize the background? That's us back at Hopkins. We woke up first thing in the morning to find that somewhere in the wee hours of the morning his Gtube had fallen out (the balloon inside had burst) and the hole was practically closed. We tried several times to get it back in but to no avail. Thankfully we had a great outcome and this was me after they got it back in... A little fragged from very little sleep but happy we were going home! Because the hole had closed so much they had to use catheters starting at a smaller size and gradually increase the diameter until we reached the gtube size. It took a little bit of effort but all in all it added up to the shortest ER trip ever. They were very expedient this time and they even sent us home with some smaller catheters so we can do it ourselves if the need ever arises again. A++ this time, Hopkins.  *Now to our originally scheduled post, which is kind of apprapo.*  ...

"I feel......cold."  10 points to anyone (except Ben) who can guess what that is from. I do literally feel cold because it would appear that winter has finally hit. But more than that, today I feel heavy. Rambo is thankfully doing well and that cold we were trying to hold at bay has started to move from him to me. I would rather it be that way but I feel this cough deep down in my chest. You know that kind where you feel it but you can't quite get it? Yup, that's the one. Other than that I feel fine and Rambo seems to be settling back into normal. Yesterday was trying to say the least. We had to take Rambo to the doctors to get his monthly shot in each leg. No big deal. But the nurse must have mentally gone on vacation because she did a horrible job. I don't say that lightly. On the first shot she didn't have his leg down well enough so the needle came out and she had to put it in again. Actually, I can't say for certain the needle came all the way o...

Everyone please stop what you are doing for a moment. Put down your pencils and look up. Because I received something for Christmas that is worth some attention. Something breath taking. Life changing. Dream making. Epically epic. It's okay to be jealous. I know they are awesome.  My dear cousin and her husband got me THE mugs. And guess what.... Yup. That's eggnog. Just call us Clark and Eddie. Thanks, Theresa and Dewey! Ben and I are gonna get you something "*wink* real nice." I must say those mugs really did round out our Christmas nicely. We were extremely busy Christmas weekend visiting both sides of the family, opening presents, and eating copious amounts of food. Moving Rambo isn't the easiest thing in the world. Especially when you're taking ALL of his stuff.. not just the portable. Which of course, we had to because we were going to be gone for hours at a time. But last night, we were finally able to s...

For those who don't know... the past two weekends we have been without a nurse. Now, in the scheme of things that's not so bad. It really isn't. I mean, I was up with him day AND night for the first two months after we brought him home. I'll take three nights a week... if I have to. And the company called today to say that they finally found a nurse to fill in on the weekends. This weekend, at least. Not Christmas Eve but tonight and Sunday night. And I need to do orientation with the nurse they send tonight so I'll still be sleeping downstairs BUT we have a nurse. I repeat, we have a nurse.  Back to what I was saying before: Having to stay up on the weekends with the boy isn't that bad. Or.... it could be worse, let's say that. I'm keeping my head up and trying to not have a pity party. But this does lead me to all the wonderful little things I forgot I would be dealing with through the night. Cats. On the couch. On top of me. Sleeping on the couc...

  Can you smell the cookies baking? (Or in our case right now, the bacon... No relation to Christmas. Just what we were in the mood for.)   Do you hear Bing Crosby singing Mele Kalikimaka, the Hawaiian Christmas song? It's the thing to say, you know.    Are your stockings hung by the chimney with care?? Did you remember to water the tree? Nobody wants a thousand dry dead needles to pick up in a few weeks. We all know the vacuum cleaner does not work. (You're welcome.)   Have you stopped and breathed it in and remembered? Holler!!! We have!! And Christmas will be here soon!  It took me a little while to 'get into the mood' this year. Maybe it was the warmer weather. Maybe it was the fact that we are home this year. Maybe it's because I started buying presents in September. Maybe I'm just a cottonheadedninnymuggins. In any case, I am now officially in the mood. Bring on the crowds (I say this ...

Something a little different for today. Linking up with  Ann Voscamp . You may have seen this under my Daily Cup page. Using it as a reminder.  Reminding myself to live. Right now. Take each moment, each new circumstance. Jump in with both feet. Rambo is here. Rambo is home. Life is different. Embrace. Don't wait. See I have placed the land before you; go in and possess the land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers; to Abraham to Isaac, and to Jacob. See the Lord your God has placed the land before you; go up, take possession, as the Lord , the God of your fathers, has spoken to you. Do not fear or be dismayed . The Lord your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you just as a man carries his son, in all the way which you have walked until you came to this place. The land is before me. Indeed I am IN the l...

Um... no, definitely not. Not this year. The Colts are 0 - shameful, and the Ravens are doing well. Barf. So instead, let's get ready for some pictures!! We celebrated Rambo's first birthday last night with family. We tried to keep it small but when you have two decent sized families, 'small' usually means 20 or so people. But that also means more delicious food!  The night began with..... It began with the making of this cake anyway. The eating came later. Spice cake with sprinkles. It has nothing to do with baby or boy or Rambo or camo, but at least it was made. I am not a baker and have never claimed to be. It was me, a cake mix, a Chinese lady who has never baked a cake, and sprinkles. Lots and lots of sprinkles to cover up the horrible icing job. All I can say is- it was edible. Of course, the night really began with the man of the hour: Then lots and lots of food which we didn't get a picture of. But let me tell you, it was good. Chicke...

One year ago I was fat and miserable. I was tired and swollen. I was afraid, anxious, overwhelmed and excited. I was pregnant. Bleh. I don't know that I've ever told you this before but I hate pregnancy. I hate it with a deep passion. I'm not sure how I've managed to get through four of them. Four. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me shudder. I've tried embracing pregnancy - doesn't work. I've tried enjoying pregnancy - really doesn't work. For me it always comes down to- take it for what it is and get through it. Yes, you are fat, forgetful, and miserable. Deal with it. There's nothing you can do about it.  That being said, I do love children. My children. I love my children. (Let's not get carried away.) I love them from the moment I find out I'm having them until, well, present tense. They somehow find a way to be innately worth all the pains and troubles that come with pregnancy. Not enough to make me forget, but apparently e...

Aunt Mary, your sister Dolly wanted you to know that despite her best efforts she was unable to kill the Christmas cactus. Well, left to her own devices she probably would have, indeed, succeeded in killing both of them. But she graciously let me take them home in an effort to raise them from the almost dead. And it appears they are happy. And blooming! Okay, only one of them is blooming but I'm hoping the other one will bud in it's own good time. It is definitely looking up. And, looky here, who's trying to keep up:   I guess he didn't want a plant to show him up. I'm gonna be honest - it was close. I was PRE-TTY pleased when I saw this cactus budding. But it did make me at least just as happy to see him putting weight on his arms. It was only last week when he needed maximum support on both arms. Go, Rambo, go! T-minus 2 days until Rambo: First Year. I can't believe he actually made it. Let me rephrase: I can't believe I actually made it...

The occupational therapist asked me the other day if Rambo turns his head when I call his name. I paused. In that moment a list as long as... well, a really long list... of all the things he is called flashed through my mind. 'Which one?' was all I could mutter out. This poor child will never know his name because he never gets called the same thing two times in a row. He doesn't have a chance! And it's all my fault. Below is a list of all the names he gets called each day. Rambo Theodore Teddy-dore Theedo Bubs (I know... this one is awful but it just comes out.) Teeodore (pronounced like his nurse from the islands) Teddy Rambo Theo Teddy And that's just off the top of my head. As if this kid doesn't have enough problems. Of course, he probably only hears half of them. Hahaha - I made a funny. Cause he isn't hearing out of his left ear. Get it? He only hears half.... No?  Aaaaaaaanyway.... his first birthday is arriving quickly. Which just fee...

Well, if you're Theodore and you're listening with your left ear the answer is no. Yes, folks, that's right. It appears Theodore is deaf in his left ear.  For the moment. This is an important fact that I am trying to hold on to. You see, he also has fluid in both ears. Why that is there we don't know, but it could be that the fluid is what is causing his hearing to be poor, nay, nonexistent in the one ear. That is what I am hoping. Can you imagine? Deaf in one ear? I mean, I guess that's better than both ears, but seriously? One more thing? My prayer is that is not the case.  Today was one of those days where I just couldn't process that information. I'm trying desperately to fight the 'what ifs' and keep the faith, as it were. I'm trying to think positively. I'm trying not to think about all the things Rambo is missing and will miss out on. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself.  I'm trying. But tonight as I sit here and ...

Happy week after Thanksgiving! We have been basically trying to relax and  digest all our food since then. I think this is the first year I actually enjoyed the turkey and didn't just eat it because it was Thanksgiving. If you're anything like us than the turkey is most likely the only left over that lasts longer than a day. I hope that you can find delicious things to do with it. I've tried. Let me know if you have any good ideas. I'm not a turkey expert. Anyway, for more pictures of Israel's intense stare and other such nonsense, if you care to see, you can check it out under the fam tab. Thank you and goodnight.

Thanksgiving always makes me think of Christmas movies. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because the two holidays are so close. Maybe a few connections in my brain have been a bit.... frazzled. Either way, I have thought more about A Christmas Story and National Lampoons Christmas Vacation in the past week than I usually do during the entire month of December. (Or maybe *gasp* I'm morphing more and more into a Taylor every day - let's hope that's not the case). But considering it's the day after Thanksgiving I have finally been given permission by my husband to speak of all things Christmas. *Speaking of the day after Thanksgiving, it's my hubs birthday. Happy birthday!! Love you!* Side note: I actually hate the phrase 'hubs' or 'hubby' but 'husband' feels so formal. So I find myself stuck in between a rock and a hard place where I'm going to either be over the top or trendy. Both of which I hate. This is my life. Our Thanksgivin...

I'm supposed to be looking up mac and cheese crock pot recipes considering it's one of the three things I'm responsible for for Thanksgiving dinner. That's what I'm supposed to be doing anyway. Obviously, I'm not.  Instead, I decided to share a few photos of the little man showing that maybe he's not that different from other babies after all. This is one of the things I am thankful for today: No one can resist the cell phone. You can almost see it in the last picture, but each time he got ahold of it he would have this sly smile on his face because he was so proud of himself. It made my day :) Here are few more things that I'm thankful for:     So proud of themselves for taking a self portrait. I'm also thankful for my husband but he's like a sasquatch or the loch ness monster when a camera is around. I'll see what I can do.  Happy birthday to him and my mother-in-law! (A day early but that's okay...

This week has been quiet on the blogging front. Not the blogging world as a whole (well, I don't know, maybe it has been but I doubt it.) but for this blogger in particular. And for one reason alone. I AM LOSING MY FREAKING MIND. This has been one of those having-four-children-was-not-my-proudest-moment weeks. If you know what I mean. I love my children. I really do. I just need to remind myself of that sometimes. So this leads me to Things I Don't Understand: Episode 4 1) How children literally have endless amounts of energy. 2) Why they fight to the death one minute and then are instantly sad the second they are apart. 3) Why I have to tell them a million and a half times to do something and then, in the midst of doing it, remind them what it is they are doing. 4) How they can wipe their noses on their sleeves. 5) How they sit mesmerized by the most mind-numbing show just because the 'big box' is glowing.  6) Why they want to do the exact opposite of wha...

Why not add more weight to this already sinking ship? Yeah, I couldn't think of a reason either. I think that's why this happened. ignore the nail polish that needs terribly to be redone. To those of you who don't know the history of my middle toe: it's long and boring. The gist of it is I have basically dislocated it three times and chipped the bone and now there is some kind of a cyst on the bone. Each time you dislocate it, it gets weaker. Hence this most recent picture. It got snagged somewhere between Rambo's oxygen cord and his diaper bag. Stinking baby.  And it is excruciating. That's the best part.  So now I am stuck limping in serious pain just to make it around the house.  But it's all okay. No. Seriously. It's okay.  Did anyone just believe that??? I really am making an effort to take this all in stride and make the best of it. Complaining isn't going to make it any easier. In fact, it will probably only make it seem twi...

I have decided to look at this week as an extended weekend. Not because I'm enjoying all the relaxing, fun, refreshing times one would look forward to on a weekend. No no no. But because I would rather tell myself I had a crappy weekend than an entire crappy week. In my head, this makes me feel just a teensy bit better about it.  So what has made up this extended crappy weekend? Nothing in particular and EVERYTHING.  After having a rather traumatic doctors appointment last Thursday Rambo has been non stop coughing, gagging and restless since then. We're talking day and night.  Mother pussbucket. And we were doing so well!!! Since Rambo got out of the hospital he was the best he's EVER been. Way less suctioning. Staying level on his oxygen needs, even throughout the night. Happy. Progressing developmentally. And then the doctor decided not only would she put the scope down his nose into his throat and literally bang around to see if she could get a reaction out of ...

I was just informed by my son that I MIGHT be the best mom in the world. There's apparently some steep competition. So to all you moms out there just know that I'm not going down without a fight. I also uploaded a new video of Rambo which you can watch  here . I know I'm biased, but really, he.is.cute. I love  how he rubs his head to soothe himself :) But now it's time to get down to business. It was close but at the eleventh hour you all pulled through and got to at least 25 comments. Good job! I can't say all of you followed the rule about the phrases, but I'll let that one slide. Majority wins on this one. :)  And the random winner of the delicious Amish treats is: Dorothy! (Ben, no one cheated.) So message me on facebook or email me: tooguccicute@gmail.com so I can get your info :) I want to give a big thank you to everyone who commented but right this second my life is chaotic and making me feel extremely flustered. So I'm going to wait until I ...

Well, maybe not romance... but the last call for comments! I'm extending it by a few days so we can hopefully meet the minimum! If you haven't commented yet, now's your chance. Click  here  to comment and a chance to win. Keep them coming! I'll do the drawing on Wednesday. 

Looking back is hard. To remember is almost too much. Too much pain. Too many times death came too close. Too much recognition in his eyes. Too much time away from family. Too much lonliness. Too many memories Too much pain. Too small. Too many things that didn't have to be. Too many scars. It hurts to even look at pictures. You won't see all of them. Ever.  It's too hard. BUT There were also special moments. Never too many smiles. Never too much love. And a very special Christmas. I know. I know h e is fearfully and wonderfully made. I know he is loved. I know he is created to do great things. I know I am not the same. What His(God's) methods will be with you I cannot fortell. But you may be sure that He never works in an arbitrary way. He has a reason for everything He does. You may not understand why He leads you now in this way and now in that, but you ma...