I'm an idiot.

Please, don't everyone jump in at once and try to stop me from saying that....

Anyway, for those who didn't already know or suspect.... I think it might be true. Ben is probably recounting all those times I said something before I really thought it out (oh.. thaaaaat's why they call it an island...) But, on a whole, I have tried to stand firm on the fact that I am not an idiot.

It may have all been for naught.

I have done my very best to avoid saying anything about the word 'home' or 'going home' or 'doing well' or any variation thereof in front of Rambo, let alone TO him. I even spoke in pig latin, people. Okay, that's how serious I was. You would have to be an idiot to do that after all we've been through. "Ahhhhhhh," you're saying to yourself, "I see where she's going with this."

I.Am.An.Idiot.


I find myself talking to Theodore about how we can't wait to get home, and how I know he's excited. I was even giving him instructions on how to behave himself tonight so the plans don't change. I was giving him instructions! Instructions! What is wrong with me?!?!? Why didn't anyone stop me?!?!?


I don't know where I went wrong.


I guess I just got careless. That's what happens when you get careless. You get stupid. You get stupid and you find yourself staying longer in the hospital. I can only blame myself if something happens and we can't go home. It's no one's fault but mine. Not even Rambo's.

Before I leave to go scold myself I give you the words of a very wise ChiChi's waiter, "Be currful. It's hot." Words to live by if you ask me.